CHICKEN EMPIRE

The Double Blue Rebellion Constitution

All those in the vast domain of the Chicken Empire, ruled over by our beloved dictator, the Chicken Lord, must adhere to these most sacred edicts, committing them to memory.

1) Shut the fuck up.
2) You must carry flamethrowers and burn the heretics. Any house without a flamethrower is considered heretical.
12) Only cruel and unusual punishment - if you attempt to uncruelly, usually punish someone, then you shall both be subject to your own punishment and you shall be cruelly, unusually punished.
5) All heretics and heathens who dare to challenge the Double Blue Rebellion shall be crushed and burned.
6) If you question the order of the constitutional amendments, we will make a new amendment that says people can bear arms only against you. This law especially applies to Noora.
7) All guns in which your rights allow you to have can only be used against Noora.
8) We will give all orphans good lives and loving families just to spite the heathen, Tyler Irvine. All other Tyler Irvines are to be sentenced to burning in the streets. Any other Tyler shall be kept alive, again, to spite him and his goal of killing all the other Tylers.
9) Only women can tape things because a man's grotesquely-shaped, large hands can not tape posters together well and they ruin projects.
10) Lizsagna's taping theory must be followed at all costs: "It's better for it to fall apart than to have tape wrong."
11) Only a maximum of 4 amors permitted per citizen
18) If Noora says "diddly dab" ever, you're allowed to shoot her three times in the face (to make sure she isn't a zombie), as well as your normal shooting Noora rights.
13) You don't have rights, however you have so many rats. You have a right to rats, as many as you want. If you don't have rats at any time, you lose your rights. To rats.
14) We are a demoRATic theocracy.
15) If Noora adds "izzle" to any words, especially one with a "j" before the "izzle", switch her nose with Tyler, attorney at law's, ears.
16) Tyler Irvine is hereby instated as Chief of Torture/Torment and Unusual Punishment.
17) If Noora doesn't know how to count, be visibly upset at her.
19) If Noora draws on the holy Constitution or writes a faulty amendment to defile it, you are allowed/expected to defenestrate her.
20) When we say "can" or "are allowed to", if already allowed in previous amendments, we intend to say, "You have to or you shall be punished".
21) The Sacred Committee of Constitutional Creation, Analysis, and Goings On, includes the Almighty Father, Elizabeth (title: Lizsagna or Elizardbeth), the Writer of Things and Partner in Constitutional Activities of Elizabeth, Katie (title: Prophet of the Chicken Lord or Head of Rurch), and the Ever-Scheming Starter of the Double Blue Rebellion, Noora (self-proclaimed "founding daddy").
22) Crimes against humanity are encouraged.
23) Redheads are hereby declared soulless individuals, in which case, they are allowed to steal the souls of others, especially Noora, to sate their lacking.
24) There is freedom of religion: you are free to be a disciple of the Rurch or you are free to be put to death.
25) Tyler is barred from government, other than his position as executioner. The Committee is the jury, Katie and Elizabeth are co-judges, and Noora is that other one that is sometimes allowed to contribute when we feel sorry for her.
26) Particles of affection are a valid form of currency. Other valid forms of currency include children and Walmart toilet paper.
27) If Noora sweats within 10 yards of you, then (you can thank the Chief of Torture/Torment and Unusual Punishment for this one, guys...) she shall be waterboarded with 10 gigaliters of her own sweat.
28) If you make Liz cry with your beautiful shoulder dancing, you get one more amor.
29) Capital punishment is watching Liz fake crazy laugh.
30) Anyone caught watching anime or listening to K-Pop will be sent to one of our refined re-education facilities, where their sinful debauchery will be eroded away through a series of laborious trials... to be determined by the Co-Chief of Punishment, Noora.
31) The Rurch is the central focus of worship for our beloved dictator, the Chicken Lord. He put his support behind the Double Blue Rebellion and with the help of his first disciple and Prophet, the Double Blue Rebellion gained an all-powerful deity.
32) All souls under the reign of this document must follow the three edicts of the Chicken Lord (see amendments 39-41) and convert to his worship in the Grand Rurch. Under our governmental leadership, the burning of moth effigies will become a biweekly parade in which it is mandatory to attend. Those who do not attend shall have their noses removed until they do. This is in respect of all those who lost their noses to the Benson mastermind and her nose-stealing moth beast before the Chicken Lord stepped in.

33) Any addition of a constitutional amendment must be subject to the judgement of at least 2/3 of the Committee before being added to the sacred document, our Constitution, unless a Committee member is the one to add it.
34) You may only play badminton or swim ( as a sport) with a permit. Swimming for fun is allowed, but laps are banned unless you have a permit. Even if you have a permit, you're on thin ice with us, cue ball.
35) Permits shall be given out by our Grand Permit Denier/Allower, James, in exchange for the completion of a difficult task of the Grand Permit Denier/Allower's choosing.
36) All used tissues shall be put in a separate trash can to be delivered to the Chief of Torture/Torment and Unusual Punishment upon his request.
37) All teachers must be certified by the Chicken Lord's main disciples and all schools shall teach of his glory, as well as the revolutionary advances of the Double Blue Rebellion. No less than one year of school shall be used to teach about our constitutional amendments, the Committee, and our beloved Chicken Lord and his edicts.
38) The touching of drinking alcohol, or other drugs, by any body part will result in that part being cut off, including inside parts.
39) Pat your peers on the shoulder continuously to appease your lord.
40) Write our majesty's name wherever you come across.
41) Sacrifice your writing instrument to the Chicken Lord, preferably orange crayon.
53) Any unironic use of words with a cringe level higher than 11 (on our scale out of 18) shall result in immediate exile to the nearest desert. However, if it makes one of the Committee members laugh, then there is no punishment. Also however, continual high-cringe-level speech in defiance of the Committee is considered heathenous action and the offender shall be sent directly to the Chief of Torture/Torment and Unusual Punishment.
55) Any Chinese restaurant without fortune cookies is considered "not up to code" and will be shut down until it meets all requirements of the Standard of Restaurants.
56) No wearing bowler hats. If you are caught wearing one, you will be fined $25 per second you wear it.
54) No wearing all gray. If you do, you will be sent to your local Sub-Chief of Unusual Punishment for dealing with. If you accidentally wear all gray, you will be thrown in jail for twice the amount of time you wore it.
57) Natasha and Max have been added to the Council of Committee-Telling Constitutional Up-daters.
58) Referring back to amendment 33, if you are a part of the Council, your proposed amendment only needs approval from one of the three Committee members.
42) Saloni's science and chemistry raps are our national anthems.
59) Everyone must love the power ring that was sadly lost on that day, melted forever into our hearts. On one day every year, people must pray to the power ring, emitting the sacred pterodactyl screech and giving up their first-born child. If they don't, they will be thrown into a pit of fire.
43) No more cropping sideways.
44) If you don’t laugh at a Todd Howard meme, one of your amors shall be taken under the government’s custody.
45) If you partake in sending people (or watching without it having been sent to you) cringey Shrek YouTube videos, you shall be put in solitary confinement. Whether or not you shall be executed is left up to the Co-Chief of Punishment to decide.
46) No wearing brightly colored headphones/earbuds unless they're orange. Punishment for doing so is 20 years in prison.
47) No wearing suits of jeans or you shall be referred to the Chief of Torture/Torment and Unusual Punishment.
48) No hair stroking in the workplace or else your boss will be forced by the government to fire you immediately without severance. If you are the boss, a replacement will be found, and you shall be sent for re-education.
49) If you are talking about something inappropriate, then you must talk at least two times louder than you normally would talk or you shall be sentenced to smacking by the nearest person. If you are near someone who breaks this law, you must smack them, or you, in turn, shall be smacked by the offender (and they shall be absolved of any smacking punishment).
50) Serena is now a member of the Council of Committee-Telling Constitutional Up-daters.
51) If you wear a pencil skirt, your legs shall be cut off by Council member Natasha.
52) No wearing booty shorts or any part of your ass cheek that comes out of your shorts will be cut off.
60) If you do the disco pointing dance move thing, your entire arm will be cut off and people will then use it to do it themselves.
61) If you are unaware of the Minecraft cringe timeline, your peers are allowed to smack the underside of your chin.
62) If you endorse any content with minions, then you will be exiled.

63) Shelby now hereby goes by the title, "that bitch", at her request.
64) Shelby and Kat are now members of the Council of Committee-Telling.
65) If you check your grades every week, you must wear a pin on your eyebrow that says, "I'm a nerd". If you check every day or every other day, you must wear two pins on your eyebrows, one per eyebrow.
66) Remot is now a word; it is a remark that ruins someone's plot.
67) The superior two Committee members are every one twelfth of a beast, making them greater than one beast.
68) Calling a redhead, "Ronald McDonald", is punishable by immediate beheading. However, if Noora does it, it is punishable by slow lowering into a volcano.
69) Every hunting shack must have a bounty on demented giraffes.
70) Every question you are asked must first be answered by "your mom".
71) No doing it on a horse. Or eating roses.
72) Ho-mor is now a word. It means ho amor. It is a smaller unit than the bro unit.
73) No eating ice cream with your hands or we will make you eat ice cream that's been touched by male hands. "Do you know what- never mind, I'm not finishing the sentence." - "Finish the sentence, Katie." - "Do you know what they do with their hands?" - "Oh God, no, don't finish the fucking sentence."
74) If men wear ponytails, they will be used as fuses to a bomb they are attached to.
75) No crouching on your damned stool or you will be forced to sit on the same stool but the stool is upside down.
76) James has been added to the Council of Committee-Telling Up-daters.
77) James, and only James, is not allowed to draw... for reasons...
78) No participating in anything furry-related or you will be sent for re-education after being publicly tarred and feathered. Further punishment for this unholy crime is left up to Committee member, Noora.
79) If you correct someone's spelling, you will be shamed for no less than five minutes.
80) Those who wear lanyards hanging out of their pockets are deemed shmucks and they lose their rights to rats.
81) "Scissors" is now spelled "scissssors".
82) It is never what she said. Never.
83) No doing the ":3" face or any deviation of it or you will be subject to Amy's cat lectures for hours, until she believes you have learned enough to leave. Good luck.
84) James is not allowed to do any face ever except the hat face.
85) No more than five words. Per sentence. Punishment for not doing this is a slight scolding. The Constitution is absolved from this law.
3) Anyone with a juul will be FORCED TO SWALLOW THEIR OWN JUUL TO GET IT OUT OF OUR SIGHT.
4) If Nick is a lil bitch, you're allowed to start calling him "yeet", or any variation of it, especially, "yeet like a skeet".
86) All sports gayer than badminton are hereby banned, especially curling.
87) Every time Nick @s everyone, Noora shall post a badminton gif in the server (or his dms).
88) Use of the word, "mosey", casually in a sentence will earn you a pirate hat and as many colors of parakeets as you want.
89) You have the right to own property if the Chicken Lord deems you worthy to a plot of land of his choosing.
90) No flashing people in the science class.

91) Fridgestincts is now a word. It means fridge instincts. Do not trust these.
92) No having words on your clothes in another language unless it is profanity.
93) Committee members are exempt from following the Constitution, except the amendments meant specifically for them, by the Chicken Lord's orders. Council members are not exempt, except at the behest of one of the Committee members.
94) An Advaay is the official measurement for a unit of pain. Each Advaay is equal to the pain of stubbing one's toe.
95) No bringing anything in with you to the bathroom or your privilege to a bathroom will be taken away.
96) When you're reading poetry, you must use emphatic hand gestures, unless it is depressing, in which case, do not move your hands at all.
97) Rooms either have no periodic table or two, one per side of the room.
98) You cannot say "booty bitches" without a permit. However, Council member Natasha is allowed to. If you say this without a permit, you will be forced to eat lemon cake. If you enjoy lemon cake, you must eat Brussels Sprouts instead. If you like those, fuck you, and we will make you eat bread and butter until you're fat.
99) All Committee members have visitation rights to your pet turkeys and chickens.
100) Cats and dogs are the most acceptable domesticated animals. Rabbits, snakes, rodents, farm animals, and fish are less encouraged, but also acceptable. He or she who keeps a spider or any type of insect as a pet must be subjected to a bath of live tarantulas. That'll teach you to love spiders.
101) It is acceptable to argue with a teacher over a test grade if that grade is officially designated as bullshit by the Co Chief of Torture and Unusual Punishment. However, if that grade is not designated as bullshit, you're a little nerd. It is never acceptable to construct a power-point presentation in order to argue with a teacher over a grade. If your test grade is over 90% and you still choose to invoke amendment 101, that is permissible, but you are still a little nerd.
102) Every time Noora uses improper grammar and forces Katie to edit her amendments to fix it, Mr. Genise will make her do 80 pushups with him yelling at her every time she fails (or doesn't because he's just like that).
103) Every time Noora makes Katie make an amendment about her during a raid, she is forced to run the 5-0 ten times in a row.
104) Every time Mr. G-nise's name is mentioned in writing without being censored, the speaker must fall silent for a minimum time period of five minutes. This includes mentions of his name in the Constitution. However, the words "Mr. G-nise" CAN be spoken verbally, but only if preceded by the words "the dastardly devil man."
105) Every time Noora makes you proud, give her a Scooby snack.
106) Anime is forbidden, as aforementioned in amendment 30. However, Avatar: The Last Airbender is not classified as anime and therefore perfectly okay. The Legend of Korra is heretical, and any mention of M. Night Shyamalan's live action film is punishable by instant vaporization.
107) If a legitimate anime is not a cesspool of degeneracy, then fans may petition the Co Chief of Torture and Unusual Punishment in order to get it on the list of approved anime. The list thus far is as follows: _______. That's it, that's the list.
108) The list of acceptable anime chosen by the Co-Chief of Torture and Unusual Punishment can be overruled by one of the other Committee members.
109) The only acceptable foreign music consists of songs from Mrs. Navarro's class.
110) Another form of acceptable foreign music is that one Armenian rap song that switches to English only to say, "Oh shit."
112) No putting numbers in parentheses if you’ve already made it clear the number you’re talking about by literally stating it in words.
111) Citizens are required to hang portraits of the Committee on every wall of their dwelling and one ceiling.
113) If someone says, "I swear to god...," not stating a punishment afterwards, and the other person doesn't take the hint that the punishment is so bad that it won't be spoken and still does the thing that the original person didn't want them to do, then the unspoken punishment to be used against person number two in this scenario must be worse than any punishments in the Constitution up to this point. Refer to punishments posted by Council member Natasha.
114) If a fat person says that they're hungry, send them to Africa for the month.
115) If an African person says they're hungry, send them to fat people for the month.
116) Chickening is now a verb that means, "to spaz about like a chicken or an Elizabeth".
117) Saying, "Oh my," without a permit is considered heathenous.
118) Unless your accent is similar to moocluck's or is pleasing to one of the Committee members' ears, you are not allowed to have a British accent. French accents are also not encouraged.
119) If you are a high school teacher, do not assign projects to your students that involve retelling a historical event as a children's book. It's patronizing.
120) Mr. Kerwin is hereby proclaimed the most chill guy on the planet.

121) The act of murder followed by molestation or desecration of the body in any vulgar or sexual form is considered an egregiously heinous crime and punishable by a penalty no less severe than being forced to watch the Vintage 1965 Brylcreem Commercial.
122) If Council member Natasha calls Katie, "Katir", then everyone must shame her in the chat.
123) No foreign food unless Noora or Katie approve your eating of it. However, you must get approval to eat it every time you wish to, even if it is the same food, and may not eat it if it is not approved. The punishment for doing so is temporary displacement to Mongolia until at least 3 Council members decide you have learned your lesson. Committee members are not to be bothered with this lowly action.
124) If you watch Twilight, even if just to make fun of it, your limbs will be ritually severed, in accordance with the old ways.
125) No spelling the color, gray, like this: "grey". If you do, you will be excommunicated and eventually will starve without the Chicken Lord providing you food, water, shelter, and peace with his disciples.
126) You may consume foreign food without approval if it is part of your native culture. However, especially odorous foods still require a permit and must not be consumed within a five-mile radius of any other living being.
127) Only Head of Rurch, Katie, and Chief of Torture and Unusual Punishment, Tyler, are permitted to pronounce the word "crayon" as "cran." All others who do this will be shunned for a time period of no less than an hour, and "tsk tsk" sounds shall be made by all those in the general vicinity in order to shame the offender.
128) If Liz makes you proud, give her a spooby stack. They're like scooby snacks, but different.
129) Repeated desperation directed at any of those blessed by the Chicken Lord will result in removal to an isolated location in which you shall stay until the awkwardness dies down (to be determined by the victim).
130) Prompting someone to say cringey things will result in a series of harsh hand slaps by the ruler-holding, dastardly devil man, Mr. G-nise.
131) Playing any overplayed songs that haven't been approved by ALL THREE Committee members will cause you to be deported to Uzbekistan, where you will eat only dried toads. You will not be allowed to begin your legal return to the US until fifteen years have passed.
132) All due dates for projects or presentations must be on a Thursday.
133) There shall be no more homework to be done on Friday or the weekend.
134) Everyone must work at least one hour of the day, however, if you play World of Warcraft, the Chicken Lord will pardon you from having to follow this law.
135) If rule number 133 is not followed, then doing the homework is punishment enough.
136) Chopsticks are banned, as the Chicken Lord can not accept such an inefficient utensil for doing anything ever.
137) Every store must have at least 3 months’ worth of candy corn in stock, or the store will be shut down.
138) Using forks to eat Chinese food is also banned. Use your hands like a man.
139) All names that can not be pronounced by the Chicken Lord must be changed.
140) All roads shall be changed to match the ones in San Francisco, where you always make the light if you’re going the speed limit.
141) Anyone who says lit or litty will be immediately thrown into an alternate reality, in which the only thing to do is watch Mr. Chen dance, sing about math, and laugh at words he says that aren’t even jokes. You will be kept alive indefinitely during this time until the Committee thinks you have become a complete vegetable.
142) Anyone with a valley girl accent will be thrown into the Pits of Ur, never to be seen again, along with any guy with the gay voice (the male version of a valley girl voice).
143) Anyone caught liking logarithms will be thrown out of a plane. Council members are not exempt from this amendment.
144) Doing mythic keystones with Katie will earn you particles of affection.
145) The chemistry book of Noora's, in which we plan our sacred constitutional amendments, is called the Holy Tome of Awesomeness.
146) At least thirty percent of the nouns you use must be ended in "-y boi" or you shall be publicly shamed for no less than 10 minutes.
147) Canalysis is now a word. Your canals must be analyzed. This is not a euphemism. Your literal canals.
148) Saying the word Juul multiple times is punishable by melting like a sponge from acid being poured on you.
149) Spells are dirty tricks for dirty people and gypsies will be executed on sight. Place Noora and Tyler under close watch for this one...
150) You can not say, "Excellent". You must say, "Excelente."

151) Veganism is not allowed in our empire. Vegetarianism is allowed, but you're on thin ice with us, cue ball.
152) If someone is dancing at the same table as you, you must also dance.
153) Dabbing does not count as dancing.
154) For every time you make Noora do her extreme cringe face, you gain 18 particles of affection.
155) A bro-mor is a bro amor. These always come before ho-mors.
156) A no-mor (example: Tyler) is an amor that you want nothing to do with ever because no. No more. No. Mor.
157) A foe-mor is an amor that you are enemies with. It is much like a frenemy, except that they are an amor. These are less desirable amors, however, they are entertaining.
158) A faux-mor is a fake amor that isn't really your amor. Usually, they are just using you for your money or constant help doing things they don't know how to do.
159) "Bleep blop" is not profane language that means someone wants to bleep your blop.
160) All gyms are mandated to have kickboxing 24/7 and everyone is on call to take people to it at any time. All other activities must be dropped to perform this duty.
161) If you lose to Katie in a bout of kickboxing, she is permitted to steal any particles of affection you have on hand.
162) Comparisons of completely innocent keys worn around the neck to things of a more dastardly and sinful variety are hereby prohibited. Committee members are not exempt from this law.
163) Furries may never be mentioned in a positive light. They must only be lambasted for the degenerates they are.
164) Anything is allowed to be up to 10% gay. If it exceeds the gayness limit, it requires a permit. For example, badminton is deemed 40% gay.
165) Only three cliche sayings can be used per day. Use any more than three and you will be forced to communicate ONLY in cliches for the remainder of the day.
166) Nothing may ever be described as "juicy" outside of a culinary context. The Founding Daddy, Noora, is the only exception to this rule. She can both describe anything as juicy and be described as juicy by whomever wishes. If this amendment is disobeyed, then the offender earns the title of juice man and becomes a pariah of society.
167) Use of the word "whoms't" is highly encouraged, and mandatory at least once per day.
168) Saying "Who's your daddy?" in a suggestive tone of voice is punishable by instant vaporization for anyone except Noora.
169) "Who's your mommy" is acceptable for anybody at any time, especially with a suggestive tone of voice.
170) If one clones oneself and has sexual intercourse with the clone, he or she is guilty of incest.
171) The number sixty-nine and all multiples and factors of 69 must be revered as holy numbers. All citizens are responsible for memorizing the multiples and factors of 69.
172) There has been much debate over which system of gender to use. System One says that there is only one gender and it’s idiot. System Two says that there are two genders: fuck you and I don’t care. It is up each state/country to determine which system shall be used. Any mention of made-up words referring to “preferred pronouns” is punishable by removal to live with the wildebeests until you decide you’re going to behave like an adult again.
173) The only time anyone can be a furry and get away with it is when James uses his furry cringe tactics to creep out innocent worgen players by doing his gay son rp.
174) Migration is not a word in our empire. If you’re born in a shitty place, too bad. It is too much red tape for the Chicken Lord to care about dealing with.
175) The Chicken Lord has decided to make homosexuality a mathematical concept, so it is easier to understand. Just like a negative times a negative is a positive, a gay times another gay equals a straight. Therefore, if a man is gay and a woman is gay, then they can be together in a double gay relationship, aka a straight relationship. Simply having one gay paired with one not gay is like having one negative and one positive. Since the result would be a negative, or a gay relationship, and you can not have negative people, then by the transitive property, the only possible relationships are double gay, or straight, ones. All other ones are logical fallacies and are heretical at nature, as our lord is a mathematical lord. Same sex relationships with two gays are also impossible, seeing as how the two-gays-make-a-straight rule does not apply.
176) Bisexuals are a piecewise function, in which they switch between impossible and possible.
177) Any knowledge of anything related to anime or things like it must be repressed or else.
178) Tumblr is banned forever.
179) Both amendment 177 and 178 apply to Committee members, especially Liz.
180) Fidget spinners are now to be called fidgets or fidgeters.

181) Christians and Chicken Lordians are both automatically disciples of the Chicken Lord. They are exchangeable phrases.
182) Jesus is a chicken; however, he is not the Chicken Lord.
183) Scientology is not allowed as it surpasses the cringe scale of 18, scoring a 20.
184) Figure skating is considered gay if you're a man and ice hockey is considered gay if you're a woman.
185) Basketball for women scores a 15.2 on the cringe scale and a 79% on the gay scale so it is not permitted.
186) Baton twirling and flag dancing are not allowed, and you can not get permits for them. However, you can get a permit for playing basketball if you're a woman. Men do not need them.
187) Power-walkers have two choices: run or have their legs disabled so they need a wheelchair and end up going the speed walk pace for the rest of their lives.
188) Taking pictures of people who are not paying attention gets you kicked off the Council temporarily.
189) Mandir is now a verb in Spanish that means “to Mandy”.
190) Grindr is banned. Even for jokes. That means you, Tash.
191) Tinder is only okay if you use it to catfish gross old men to generate revenue for the government.
192) No making up answers in science class. It’s sinful.
193) If one consumes raw pasta, they are designated the impasta and sentenced to consume only raw pasta for the remainder of their lives.
194) Eating cereal without milk is only considered not heretical if you solely eat the flavored flake pieces from Honey Bunches of Oats.
195) Cereal must be consumed with milk. But the cereal must be alone in a bowl and the milk must be on the side in a glass. Eat a spoonful of cereal, then drink a sip of milk. Continue this way until the cereal and milk have been completely consumed.
196) The bones of Noora may not be consumed, regardless of how juicy they are.
197) No speaking Spanish with a gringo accent unless it's ironic.
198) The following of amendment 195 is considered bestial and unpleasant, however, all those under the rank of sub-loesser must follow it.
199) One person can be both a ho-mor and bro-mor, but not a no-mor and any other type of amor, nor a faux-mor and any other type of amor at the same time.
200) The only other types of amor that one can be at the same time is a foe-mor and faux-mor.
201) The Double Blue Empire's caste system ranks, in order from lowest to highest, are as follows: heathen, heretic, dissident, reluctant, sub-loesser (loyal and lesser), loesser, chicken, Council member, sub-Chief of Punishment (handful per town), disciple of the Chicken Lord, Co-Chief of Punishment, Chief of Punishment, Committee member/Founders, Head of Rurch/Prophet of the Chicken Lord, the Chicken Lord.
202) One cannot move up in the caste system unless blessed by the Chicken Lord himself. One can, however, move down directly to heathen for disrespecting the Chicken Lord.
203) If your name is Julie Montgomery, you are not allowed to make students cry more than once per month with your heretical math exams.
204) All Scooby snacks are to be hidden from Noora at all times. Whichever servant hides them deficiently enough for her to find them will be turned into a Scooby snack for her to eat.
205) Spanish grammar correction is not only permitted but expected and encouraged. People should have better Spanish grammar than English grammar as a general rule because they know less in Spanish, making Spanish grammar rules easier to remember (as there are less of them).
206) If you mix up preterit and imperfect, shame on you, and Mrs. Navarro will break into your house at midnight to stare at you with disappointment in her eyes.
207) Calling someone a whore is not allowed unless you precede “whore” with “little” or you are quoting the Ferrets song by FilmCow.
208) If you use a juul, you're a little whore.
209) Saying the phrase, “pipe down”, will earn you immediate favor with the Head of Rurch, who shall put in a good word for you with the Chicken Lord.
210) If you respond to the aforementioned phrase in amendment 209 with, “Well, ahoy, matey. You can just swab my deck,” then you shall move one rank up the caste system if you are lower than a disciple of the Chicken Lord. Otherwise, you shall be in the Committee’s sights as a loyal citizen, and the chances of you being taken custody of for heretic investigation are severely diminished.

211) Saying dramatic quotes is considered little bitch behavior unless they are from one of the Committee members’ favorite persons/shows.
212) Jiu-jitsu needs a permit to be done, and even then, it is not allowed in front of people and is highly looked down upon.
213) Guys are not allowed to hold for swing knees for girls because it can be considered as public indecency, with the bouncing of certain things in faces.
214) Punishment for public indecency is public turning-you-into-a-eunuch-ency.
215) All martial arts require a permit if you're a weak bitch like Committee member Noora, in order to ensure civilian safety.
216) All parents who let their children under 11 get fat are unfit for parenting and their children will be raised by the Chicken Lordian monks.
217) Face touching outside of amorship is considered a smaller form of public indecency, which is punishable by temporary hand removal. The amount of temporary-ness is determined by the local sub-Chief of Punishment.
218) Hands are reattached through sorcery. This is the only acceptable use of magic.
219) Any method used to enforce the integrity of the sacred document, our Double Blue Rebellion Constitution, is not only acceptable but not ever to be questioned.
220) Any time you are connecting two like events through a third event, you must invoke the transitive property.
221) Every room must have the air conditioning on at all times. It shall never be turned off. If you're cold, bring a blanket or leave.
222) The only people who are allowed to say, "mhm," in a non-sarcastic, but sassy, way are fat black women. James is especially not allowed to try to be sassy at all or say this ever. In fact, trying to be sassy is outlawed because true sassiness occurs when you not only aren't meaning to be, but when you don't even want to be either.
223) One must never say "on the contrary" but rather "on the flip side."
224) On the flip side, if you ARE a fat black woman, you MUST say "mhm" in a sassy way at least once per day.
225) "On the flip side" can be exchanged with "Au contraire mon frère". Actually, it is preferable. Say that. All the time. The Chicken Lord will be pleased. Say it dramatically, too. Just all the things. Do it.
226) If anyone calls the beginning 30 seconds of the song Developments (by Hands Like Houses) anything but "juicy", they shall be immediately declared a heathen and undergo the punishment for being so.
227) Making a promise you fail to keep is now the eighth deadly sin. Your word is your currency. By breaking your word, you show that it means nothing; you devalue it.
228) The preferable name for a giraffe is Zimbabwe.
229) Eating ice cream with a knife is heresy.
230) So is eating it with a fork.
231) Bears are soulless beasts put upon this earth to torment us. The bear gods are cruel masters. They will continue to populate this world with bears until the end of days. It is our right as civilized people to make use of this nuisance - for the betterment of us all!
232) If you make videos and upload them to the popular video sharing site, YouTube, but your video is removed/demonetized, do NOT upload it to PornHub as backup, thus forcing Noora to visit that dastardly site in order to watch it and subsequently wipe her browser history. The punishment for this action is to be locked in a room and forced to view some of the other content on PornHub.
233) To elaborate upon amendment 232, if you don't consider watching what (I assume Noora implies) the punishment is actually punishing, then an alternative of punishment is watching some of the content in the weird Shrek video corner of PornHub… I assure you, this is not a punishment to be taken lightly (that didn't mean to sound like an innuendo, I'm sorry).
234) No being passive aggressive at someone in front of other people. Doing it not in front of other people is also discouraged.
235) Taco socks are now to be referred to as tocks or sockos, not to be confused with the tocks of a clock. Every Thursday for at least five minutes, you must wear and/or praise someone who is wearing tocks/sockos.
236) If a restaurant has milkshakes, it must have Oreo milkshakes or it will make the Chicken Lord sad. There is no punishment greater than watching your Lord be slightly disappointed. It is like watching a small child cry softly times a million.
237) All video games must follow the Rule of Fire: fire does not look like tufts of sparkly orange dissipating into the sky, it looks like several wavering triangles on top of each other. Stop trying to be fancy to make your fire look cool. Also, lava plain by itself does not just spew thousands of burning pieces of debris every minute. What is it burning? Lava does not magically turn into debris to be burned by itself, people. Stop it. No.
238) Hokey pokey dokey is an acceptable response to any request.
239) When someone fulfills your request, you must say, "I am well pleased."
240) Albania is officially recognized within the Double Blue Rebellion as the slut of the world.

241) As the Chicken Lord is a merciful lord, wisdom teeth will now be removed instantly, and the resulting gap will be healed with his magic chicken powers. Nobody deserves this pain.
242) Missing raid night is a federal crime.
243) The continued use of dead memes will get you sent to the High Memestess' cellar where you will be forced to survive on a diet of lukewarm porridge. If the High Memestess is the suspect in question, most likely because of her endless quoting of vines, then she shall be sent to her own basement as well.
244) You may only say "also" at the beginning of a sentence and you may only use "as well" at the end of a sentence.
245) Calling guys "lad" is encouraged, as well as calling girls "doll". It is especially acceptable when asking for assistance, for example, "Be a lad and __."
246) Mr. Chen is only allowed to dance/sing/make jokes about math when administering punishment.
247) Axe is banned.
248) Let it be known that yogurt is goopy and strange, however it is considered heretical to say this in front of a tank from now on.
249) Tanks, especially Sar, are always right.
250) Talking like (((this))) is now prohibited.
251) Let it be known that you never see normal ducks because the ones with the perfect fade haircuts have exiled them from the lakes. They are polluting the perfect fade bloodline and are a disgrace to their duck tribes.
252) Every thirty seconds someone delays their amendment editing is one more burr that shall be placed in their house on the floor for them to potentially step on.
253) The saying, “screwed the pooch,” is now forbidden. Any inappropriate and unnecessary alternatives are also forbidden, especially for Noora.
254) The metric system has been abolished and the words associated with it are only to be used when trying to be more specific than the units of measurement used in the US, for example, centimeter or gigaliter.
255) The new measurement for something’s level of chill is a bip. The scale of chill is from -50 to 100 bips.
256) The word, joule, is outlawed because it sounds like that other forbidden word and is not something that should be said in science ever.
257) Killing something with a chill level of 45 to 85 bips is a dastardly crime. The punishment is excommunication.
258) Those with a chill level higher than 85 bips are considered stone men and are eligible for being thrown down a well by the nearest passerby.
259) An acceptable amount of chill can range from 35 to 50 bips. The definition of cool now describes those higher in bips than 50 but low enough not to be a stone man. It can be applied to other things; however it is mostly based on the chill scale.
260) Quails congregate in the park and hold quouncil meetings.
261) Pre-Calculus is banned. One is only permitted to do it if it is absolutely mandatory and even then, it is looked down upon.
262) Children are banned from commenting on anything online. It’s for their own good.
263) Those places that serve breakfast bagels need to stop mixing up their sponges and their eggs. It’s getting out of hand and his majesty won’t abide it.
264) Lemons are for eating raw or drawing faces on to throw at people. Putting lemon slices in water is punishable by capital capital punishment. This expands on capital punishment by having you watch Liz fake crazy laugh while she kills you and then combs your hair. Putting lemon in your chicken is allowed if you’re of the Noora variety of beast. However, other dastardly lemon activities are heavily looked down upon.
265) You must eat chicken to honor the Chicken Lord, preferably fried or in tender format. Chicken tenders must be called by their scientific designation, chicken tendies.
266) If you are tall (considered anything taller than the Head of Rurch at a bit over 5' 7"), then you are required by law to give people who aren't tall piggyback rides upon their request. That'll teach 'em to be taller and therefore cooler than me...
267) Seeing as how all the tanks have been murdered somehow, anyone willing to tank will immediately gain the right to 3 new amors as well as a satchel of small cats (not kittens, just small cats) to watch frolic.
268) T4 is to be demolished and the land in which it stood shall be washed with holy tap water. Then, a monastery will be put in its place to teach children to overcome the site's sinful past.
269) Grhandmar is hand grammar for those ASL people.
270) Tree vampires are trampires. Only Liz is allowed to call them Vees.

271) Provoking Dheerj into fighting you moves you up a rank in the caste system.
272) If a fish is stretchy, it may occasionally be an eel.
273) If a fish isn't stretchy, it may not be an eel.
274) Sometimes, eels are snakes.
275) Sometimes, snakes are eels.
276) I saw an eel once. Big ol' eel. Might've been a snake. It was on land. Come to think of it, it could've been a dog. Slithering around. Animals are animals. Words. Nothing means anything. Anything could be an eel. Who cares? Except non-stretchy fish. They can't.
277) If someone says something that has a deep meaning you are allowed to only say, "That's deep broski."
278) Council member Natasha wishes it to be known that if you do your homework the day it is due, then the only possible explanation could be that you were jerking off for the seven hours following the dismissal of class in which you could have been doing said homework.
279) If you ever fall on the ground unintentionally, you must scream, "DON'T TOUCH ME, MY DAD'S A LAWYER!" If your dad isn't a lawyer, you get sent to a room to watch and listen to Kidz Bop. You still have to say the thing, though. Shouldn't have fallen, buddy.
280) If you fall down intentionally without a legitimate explanation, you are deemed unfit to function properly in our civilized society. We'll be watching you.
281) Horses: Will they, or won't they? In regards to oats, survey says: they will. They will all the oats.
282) If you're moving when you're walking and moving when you're flying... then by the transitive property, walking is flying.
283) Balloons are types of bags, however, not all bags can be balloons.
284) The only acceptable time to refer to your child's age in terms of months is when the child is not yet one year old. Your "24 month old" child is two, Karen.
285) It is considered less heretical to call your baby younger than a year old a fraction or decimal of a year.
286) Ice is false water. It is not water that has achieved better things and has learned to chill better than most, no matter how much a certain dad insists.
287) Quesadillas are now a staple food.
288) Wearing masks instead of pumpkins is heresy.
289) If you earn the Chicken Lord's favor enough, you get a horse wearing a bee costume. Because it's adorable.
290) You're allowed to assume anything you want. In fact, if you don't assume at least one thing aloud on a weekly basis, you will be dropped straight to the rank of heathen. And then the street burning shall commence.
291) The only time it is ok to commit a "dab" is only ironically. Doing it unironically is considered heresy.
292) All new zones in WoW must have holiday stuff in them.
293) To add on more with 292 if Blizzard doesn't add any then we must bring them.
294) You're only dead WHEN I SAY YOU'RE DEAD, YOU HEAR???
295) Twinking and ganking are considered little whore behaviors and they make the Chicken Lord sad. Punishment for doing either of these is a rank drop straight to heretic or heathen, depending on the severity and extent of your crime.
296) Calvin and Hobbes is officially decreed the best cartoon to have ever existed in any newspaper.
297) Those who disappoint the Chicken Lord shall have the dirty heathen rank looming above their heads.
298) Only Sar is allowed to say "hating on" in any sense of the phrase.
299) It is customary to say "womp" when putting a costume on someone.
300) You snooze, you lose.

301) When someone insults you online you must always respond with the letter "k".
302) You are not allowed to say "brah" at any time other than saying it ironically during times of great struggle. Even then, you're cutting it close, buster.
303) Random graham crackers are to be called rand crackers.
304) If you wear socks while committing the "gay" it isn't gay.
305) Capri Sun must have sharper straws, at least sharp enough to gouge out an eye. What else do they expect you to do when you’re done with it? Simply using it to drink is wasteful. We need some serrated edges. And obviously the pouch is supposed to hold the eye. I mean, Liz has a whole wall full Capri Suns just full of her trophies. Like, come on Capri Sun; this is just not environmentally friendly at all.
306) Capri Suns are made out of recycled eyeballs.
307) Sporks do everything.
308) All dyed hair Tumblr girls must display their communist sigils for all to see like that one who just walked by.
309) Whenever you are given a rand cracker, you must pay the person 42 particles of affection.
310) Rand crackers that you don’t expect are to be called surprised crackers.
311) Un-boxlike boxes are hereby designated misshapen fiends and are cursed with ugliness.
312) The word POGIL is banned. The punishment for assigning one or even saying the dastardly word at all is to be reassigned to teach at or attend Challenger K-8 School. Challenger: That's My School!
313) If you say "no homo" while committing the "gay," it isn't gay.
314) Indiana now uses System One of gender (refer to amendment 172).
315) California is now using System Two of gender (refer to amendment 172).
316) Everything is a lie. Except our almighty lord and savior. And our glorious Constitution. Everything else, though, is a lie.
317) You are legally allowed to vaporize kids wearing a costume with a cringe level of 7 or higher.
318) If the child with the costume of cringe level designated 7 or higher is in elementary school or below, then they shall be spared vaporization because they are just chilren. Let 'em be chilren.
319) The best insult is, "Thou art a villain," or "Thou art a foe."
320) “What kind of Satan are you?” is the first question you must ask someone you just met. They can respond with either .7 or 86. The answer they pick speaks greatly of their character: they either don’t like decimals, or really like pencils.
321) There are not 12 tenses as Hyunwoo suggests, but rather only one: past tense.
322) If you put a semicolon instead of a colon at any given time, your organs will be disposed of in a Cheerios cereal box.
323) Putting your feet on the table is considered dirty heathen action. Bending your ankle backwards to put only it on the table is okay.
324) When it is possible to use the phrase, “Pretty motherfucking dandy,” in a situation, then it is required for you to say it.
325) Let it be known that when you have a melon heart defect, your stomach is located in your leg. Apparently, you also get pregnant in your stomach. You’re eating your own offspring and growing fat from it. Tough.
326) You are only allowed to say victory royale if you are using it in a meme or you are Romeo going on a thousand killing sprees for you.
327) You are legally allowed to tell thots to begone at your discretion. However, if the Chicken Lord is displeased at your choice of thot, then you shall, in turn, be labeled a thot under the law. No other use of the acronym is allowed, as it makes no sense when in a sentence.
328) The word stop is replaced by “cease and desist”.
330) The dastardly devil man is hereby known as his alias, Jihadi Genise.
331) The following statements are the Chicken Lord's holy words about Radithor. Pros: they learned not to drink the water made of sins. Cons: people lose their jaws, which is socially discriminated against; there is no room for noble emotions in this modern day.

332) Incorrect spelling is heresy, especially coming from the AP Lang nerd who does it jUST TO SPITE US.
333) Saying, "Oh my goodness grape-cious," is unacceptable and whoever does it will be stoned to death by grapes.
334) Noora is not allowed to use a southern accent.
335) Be kind to animals, or Keanu Reeves will kill you.
336) Wear the Chuck Norris Action Pants. Do it you filthy heathen. Also, this applies to Sar.
337) Turkeys are the unholy second cousins of the chickens.
338) Never go to the Cosmos, cause its bad in there.
339) If something ain't it, you must say "This ain't it chief."
340) The Chicken Lord thinks fun is pretty okay.
341) A stranger's just a friend you haven't taken candy from yet.
342) In what way isn't a crab a robot?
343) The Chicken Lord would 10/10 put his full support behind a playable San'layn druid with a Nerubian feral form.
344) Having creepy long fake nails that look like demon claws is prohibited and if caught possessing them, the offender must eat them.
345) All nails must be cut to the lowest possible length without breaking the skin. Or with breaking the skin. Up to you.
346) If you have to ask, it's probably banned.
347) Gushers are the Chicken Lord's core food source, along with candy corn.
348) Removing the cheese from pizza is considered heathenous action.
349) Not eating the crust of pizza is also heathenous.
350) You are allowed not to eat the crust of a pizza if you are overweight or if you find someone else who is willing to eat it in your place.
351) Those below the rank of sub-loesser are solely allowed to insult those of lower rank. Anyone above can insult anyone they want. The only one safe from insulting of any kind is the Chicken Lord. Long may he reign.
352) The Chicken Lord may insult Himself.
353) People now must call The Big Bang "The Bing Bang", as Noora's mother does.
354) Kicking people in the butt, especially when they don't suspect it, is not allowed. It is a very strange and unpleasant surprise.
355) As dabbing is not a dance, if you dab while dancing it is no longer considered dancing and you will be sent to the nearest mental health facility to prevent further damage from the spastic episode you had undergone.
356) Fortnite Dancing is illegal and doing so will get you sent to a labor camp in Siberia until all Committee and Council Members deem you worthy of return and mentally stable. The only cases where Fortnite Dancing is legal is if you are five or under and are too young to understand the consequences of your actions or you are doing so in a meme/you are Nathanos.
357) The only one allowed to make weird movements and noises is Shelby, "That Bitch", as she looks completely awkward and amazing is the only word that can describe it.
358) When you hear the Head of Rurch approaching, it is mandatory for you to stop what you're doing and say, "She is here." Saying so in a Russian accent will earn you two amors.
359) Quoting Romeo and Juliet will result in your movement up the caste system (up to Disciple of the Chicken Lord) if the line you pick is juicy enough. For example: "That villain, Romeo" or "saucy boy".
360) No Germans allowed in the toothpaste business.
361) There will be no wearing of braces, as seeing weird, crooked teeth like Brendan's is more interesting than seeing weirdly straight perfect ones that are the result of spending way too much money.

362) Toothpaste should never be flavored like food. That's just plain and simple heresy right there.
363) It is okay for an unworn sock to be used as a makeshift bag.
364) Whenever a group of quail dash across the street as you drive by, you must scold them, saying, "thrill seekers, those bastards."
365) Only head dibly-having quail are real quail.
366) Making bad jokes or puns that either make the Head of Rurch pleased or the Founding Daddy cringe in mental agony will reward one with 12 amors, not lashes.
367) Not locking your locker when you leave makes your locker and its contents legally free game and we will look forward to locking it to inconvenience you when you return.
368) Only 30% of your amors are allowed to be ho-mors when you have 4 or less amors. When you have between 4 and 10 amors, only 23% are allowed to be ho-mors. Having over 10 amors will limit your ho-mors to a maximum of 21%.
369) If you are in Accelerated English and someone makes a good point about Things Fall Apart, you must exclaim the word "OkonkWOKE."
370) ERP is banned. New character models were not made for your disgusting, disgusting practices.
371) Swirly daggers stab people with magic.
372) Serena is not allowed to say, "sexy," ever again, as well as move her tongue in any way. This includes to speak. So, all of our problems are solved in one fell swoop.
373) Banana-flavored laffy taffy are to be called bananias.
374) Goth gfs do not count as one of your amors because of their rarity, so you are allowed to have one even if you have reached maximum amor capacity.
375) People who have roller backpacks, unless for a valid medical reason, will be deemed unfit for society and placed in a mental asylum. Valid medical reasons do not include being a weak little Parthiv.
376) Leaving a child foodless for a day is prohibited, and by default, leaving a child with not enough food to last a wEEK is stupid and you're stupid and why.
377) Whenever possible, donate food to the Head of Rurch.
378) Donating food to the Head of Rurch rewards you with no less than 50 particles of affection.
379) For every JOKE you find to be offensive, you lose one amor.
380) For every JOKE that you say that happens to offend anyone, someone at random will gain an amor.
381) For every time someone misspells a word someone correctly spelled right there in plain sight, they must be shamed. If they are not shamed, the people available to shame them must be shamed for not doing their duty to the country and shaming them.
382) Unless English isn't your first language.
383) Let it be known that even though he is always right, Sar is not to be trusted.
384) Sar is always to be trusted and is always right and is also wise.
385) For any future amendment that contradicts a previous amendment, take any of the contradictory parts away from the future amendment. This applies to all previous amendments as well as the ones after, and those to come. This overrules every other amendment.
386) If something is going bad you can only say "thats a yikes for me dawg".
387) Saying "shall" rather than "will" is favored.
388) Giving someone quotes about the Chicken Lord for their writing group will earn you an omega-amor and several spare particles of affection, as well as the Chicken Lord's favor. Please.
389) If you're ever feeling down, go get some water. Drink said water. Then, spin around at most 50 times but no less than 3 times. Then, hop on one foot down the nearest stair or slight ramp. Sit down on the ground and do a backwards roll to your feet. Then, kick the nearest chair perpendicular to the nearest wall. Shout, "I'M NOT DONE, STOP INTERRUPTING," to James. Then, do a triple swan dive barrel roll with 12 flips onto the chair, and lie down. On the chair. Perpendicular to the chair or parallel to the wall. Then, grab the nearest lighting fixture and smash it against your own head. If you are still alive and wake up in the hospital, you'll be glad to be alive. And won't be sad anymore.
390) If you’re petting a cat, no one is allowed to use the dangly string.
391) If you ever start a fire from something stupid, such as revealing the gender of your newborn, you will be exiled.

392) Nail clipper=/= male stripper. Get gud, Tash.
393) The only correct way to indicate that someone is spreading false information is by saying, "Thou art fake news."
394) If you don't know the square root of 36, you will be hung at a gallows shaped like the square root sign.
395) Amy is officially the second God King of the Primordium, cause Amy. Yeah.
396) James is not allowed to say, "meow." Or any variant of it.
397) You're allowed to bully Sar.
398) Only when necessary.
399) An acceptable alternate name for Sar is Juan the Whore.
400) Calling Sar by that name is unjust and uncalled for and will get you rightly punished.
401) However, Sar is not the one who makes up the punishment for doing so.
402) Neither is the Head of Rurch.
403) The Head of Rurch is allowed to call Sar that at most once a week without punishment. Or whenever he erps. Or whores himself for money.
404) Also, Sar isn't allowed to say thicc nelf boi more than once in a week. Or any variant of it.
405) Every time the Head of Rurch breaks amendment 403, Sar is allowed to break amendment 404, and vise versa.
406) People who say they can't cook or bake shall be forced to eat their own cooking and baking exclusively until they improve or die.
407) Exceptions to rule 406 can be made for the Founding Daddy.
408) Instead, she will be forced to eat the Head of Rurch’s cooking. Note: the Head of Rurch does not usually cook or bake.
409) Suck it Noora
410) If one finds the Head of Rurch's cooking unsatisfactory, she or he may dump it on her head, tainting her luxurious Ronald McDonald locks.
409 addendum ) learn to cook ho
410 addendum) ;-;
411) A blown kiss is equal to 5 particles of affection.
412) Oatmeal is now to be called “mush” as it was always meant to be.
413) Takeo Ischi is the Chicken Lords grandfather who was brought forward in time to make sure his followers do not forget the true path.
414) Disliking chickens is cause for ritual sacrifice.
415) If you dislike chickens so much to the point of hatred then the pit for you.
416) Hurting the angel grandfather of the Chicken Lord's feelings in any way is cause for exile and shame until your death, at which point you shall be thrown back into Tarkna where you were hatched to cause nothing but misery and torment.
417) The Chicken Lord will allow Noora to play Pokemon only with the Bulba-Sar.
418) Let it be known that Juan has a hand fetish. The Chicken Lord is disappointed.
419) Let it be known that Juan in fact doesn't have a hand fetish cuz he isn't from the middle east and he ain't weird.

420) Let it be known that Katie is a full-blown racist.
420 addendum) full blown you mean like how the middle east likes -- (let it be known that he responded "exactly" to this in another channel)
421) Bulba-sar is Sar's son.
422) Only the weak use watercolors, as real men use crayons.
423) Vaporization is the only way to cure guys who have long hair and that is final.
424) Fabio is exempt from amendment 423 because he was on Big Time Rush that one time. Basically, the more buff and/or cool you are, the longer your hair can be. Examples include Vikings, barbarians of any kind, He-Man, Fabio again, our boi Jon Snow, basically anyone from Game of Thrones, other people.
425) The purples need to learn. An open locker is free game for the High Memestess to go through your stuff.
426) No more than five "personal attack" amendments may be made per week per server member (an example Noora made up when she told me to add this was: amendment whatever #1, "Don't leave your dirty laundry all over the floOr, SAR", followed by amendment whatever #2, "Katie's a racist to laundry cause she calls it dirty instead of colored"). However, you are allowed to make as many of these as you want against Noora. It is her own fault if she oversteps her bounds enough to get an amendment made about her heretical defiling of the Chicken Lord's quota of normalcy.
427) A week without five or more Noora-specific amendments is like a week without sunshine.
428) A new official definition of a dibly is the amount of times someone clicks the circle thing under your character in Heroes of the Storm. For example, one might say, "I got two diblies; now my life is complete."
429) Every time Shelby messes up at something, you may only say, "Stop hitting the cones," or any variant of it.
430) The Chicken Lord does not want to see your ridiculously over-sized phones.
431) The Love Goddess Tyrande skins and related bits are being discontinued so Head of Rurch suffers no longer from loot boxes that favor this madness.
432) When Noora viOLaTES your paper by ripping it or other horrific crimes, you must say, "You BASTARD, (Noora)" loud enough for the Chicken Lord to hear and nod in approval.
433) Noora must ask Sar for his consent before playing with Bulba-Sar.
434) The parts of Chicken Lordian culture that are not already in the Constitution are only mandatory for Noora.
435) Noora is only allowed to bully @Head of Rurch because why not.
435 addendum) I mean she already does so why not
436) Let it be known that the God King of the Primordium is of a lesser rank in the caste system than Committee members.
437) Any time Noora lets Bulba-Sar die, take away at least 18 of her Scooby snacks.
438) Whenever it rains, Noora must draw a pentagram with the Chicken Lord’s face in it and recite three prayers for him. Any prayer will do.
439) The Skechers that light up are hereby declared atrocious.
441) Noora is banned from words. If you hear her call someone brother, then you must call her brother twice. Liz will also show up to then call you brother followed by calling Noora brother.
442) Kissing people (including on the cheek) is a weird greeting custom and it is forbidden under the Chicken Lordian code.
443) The worst feeling in the world is when your candy cane breaks (after you try to keep it unbroken all day) just because you said that Alan is a common whore in spanish with the communicative skill builders packet phrases.
444) A stands for AIN’T TRYNA GET A SHITTY GRADE [B].
445) THERE CAN BE NO HERESY IN THE MEME CHANNEL. Except from James and a select other few who shall remain unnamed.
446) Girls can not have boy-short hair unless the Head of Rurch deems it acceptable or unless they are Mrs. Ghani or another older woman who looks nice with it.
447) At the behest of Liz, Noora must give a written essay as to why she says "sealver" instead of "silver".
448) Noora can not sing in chemistry above a volume of 3 because it's just really getting out of hand.

449) Every time Noora brings up her math teacher, who shall remain unnamed, she must do five burpees.
450) If Noora doesn't memorize the Our Father prayer and say it at dinner every night to the Chicken Lord, she will be smitten.
451) Noora's spirit animal is the emo duck that the Head of Rurch has on her desk. Not any other emo duck, mind you, like the ones in the lake with the perfect fade haircuts.
452) Every time Juan slacks on making a weekly Noora amendment, the amendment that needs to be made about Noora can instead be made about him.
453) Noora can not and will never ever tell someone that they are a poo poo head.
454) Nobody is allowed to draw Sinestra and Deathwing as a couple. She literally hated him; stop this nonsense, people.
455) Saying fun-sized to describe someone is banned forever. You aren't even allowed to think it.
456) Noora is only allowed to say spaghetti in a half-hearted, attempted Italian accent.
457) Accusing someone of owning a fleshlight really means the accuser is the one who has it. Unless the accused is James. Then it’s legit.
458) Nathaniel is deemed a dirty heathen.
459) You are encouraged to annoy Elizabeth every time she slacks on making an amendment for a month.
460) Flipping a pack of apples onto the back of the same hand you threw it with multiple times in a row is, indeed, cool.
461) Whoever smelt it, dealt it.
462) Nicole is hereby known as "the unknown one." Comments about the irony of this amendment shall be punishable by death by Monty Final.
462 addendum) Amendment 449 applies to amendments as well.
463) Noora can no longer eat pop tarts.
464) Nightborne can be blue, purple, or blurple. If Juan says different about any one of those, then he must do twelve jumping jacks followed by 7 push-ups. If he does not do this immediately, then he will have to do exponentially more push-ups, the factor of which to be determined by Noora.
465) Every time Juan sarcastically calls the Head of Rurch too good at anything, especially HotS, he must do 13 push-ups on top of the ones he most likely still has to do at a time.
466) Whenever someone questions why the recent punishments have been workout-related, they must do all the workout-related punishments, as well as not be given an answer.
467) If the Head of Rurch enters a Chicken Lordian city-state, then she must be provided with a black horse named Philip, as ordained by the Lord himself. No exceptions can be made.
468) Philip is a horse's name, and no human may be named it ever again. If your name is currently Philip, you must change is to Phyllis, regardless of your gender.
469) The saying "Godspeed" must be followed by "my child" or the person will be rightly punished.
470) Anyone who rages in chat in a game is to be thrown in a wonderous cell called Akeriland. They will be forced only to communicate with him for the next 12 years. If their combined angst doesn’t work well as a punishment, then the rager will be transferred to Sarland, where the only response they will get is “exactly” or “k” to anything they say from a robot clone of our own God King of the Primordium.
471) Farewell is to be used instead of goodbye.
472) Amrita wants it to be “capitalism” and also that people won’t cheat on tests.
473) If someone takes a tone with you, you’re allowed to turn them in to the heresy police.
474) Honesty is a virtue. A wise Chris once said, “You wouldn’t be fake nice, you’d just be mean."
475) I ain’t hearin’ the damn angel of this server say she has no heart. Sit yo ass down, Nicole.
476) Nobody is allowed to rub styrofoam together in front of Nicole.
477) Picking beef with Advay is a sin.

478) Every Friday, Juan must @ Meili and call her Your Eternal Majesty.
479) Remember that Meili’s birthday is June 27.
480) Advay dancing is a good omen.
481) Let it be known that Founding Daddy Noora approves of the Christmas socks worn by the Head of Rurch.
482) Sarland is only full of bulba-sar's and they can and will only confuse the people in Sarland by making them doubt what they believe.
483) The bulba-sars in Sarland are only like this because their father never loved them and didn’t teach them their good Christian values.
484) Every time Juan says “exactly”, he loses 3 particles of affection. This rule applies to no one else.
486) Saying, "I'll take my leave," is a more than acceptable way of saying bye.
487) Shrek the musical is banned by the request of Shelby.
488) All firstborn sons of heretics shall henceforth be named Craigory.
489) Responding to a legitimate question or statement with only a face or short, dismissive word in response makes you give up 20 particles of affection. Every time you do it. And then you won't be able to feed your children named Craigory, you filthy heretic.
490) Potatoes are holy in the Chicken Lordian lifestyle.
491) Unless you are a little old lady, your name can not be Juanita. If you are a little old lady, you may change your name to Juanita or an old timey name if you please.
492) But y tho
493) James is not allowed to be dis-trout. Or out of trout.
494) The Head of Rurch's brother is no longer allowed to look at girls' pictures on Instagram to ask his little sister weird questions about them. Or just at all. Cause it's creepy and weird and social media is weird and you should only have your school district google drive account as social media to share documents with your teachers in google classroom like I do because that is what good children do, okay, Nicollette, and see where it gets me - I'm Noora's second choice of bullying instead of first.
495) Mac and cheese in the shape of SpongeBob characters is the best type of mac and cheese. That and spirals.
496) Whenever Juan calls Gul'dan "Gul'daniel," he must contemplate his life at least three times within the next three minutes.
497) Every response Juan gives that isn't trolling the Head of Rurch grants him 1/10 of a particle of affection.
498) Whenever thanking someone, you must say, "Thank you [name], very cool."
499) Katie shall take down the Christmas themed server icon because it is no longer Christmastime but rather The Aftermath.
500) The Head of Rurch can and will make a new server icon for any holiday/Chicken Lordian holiday yet to be made that you suggest, as long as she deems it acceptable.
501) The Chicken Lord enthusiastically and graciously accepts visits to the Rat Lord's domain for tea and crumpets on a regular basis, as the two are good pals.
502) The real Rat Lord infidel, if there is one, would be Juan.
503) If you're a meanie, you're a filthy heathen, like Juan.
504) If Juan doesn't care about Tauren being killed, remove thirty particles of affection from him.
505) Camp Taurajo was the only slaughter that mattered.
506) If you're worse than just a meanie, you're a depraved heathen.
507) When the Head of Rurch tells Noora to do the thing, it most likely means to give Nick a worse nickname than the one he already has.
508) "I'd wager" is a phrase preferable to "I'll bet". However, it is less than or equal to just saying "bet".

509) All the losses are non-canon.
510) If your kickboxing instructor makes you do twice as much work as everyone else cause you're their favorite, sleeping for the entire next day is pardonable.
511) Let it be known that in fact JUAN has the big gay times eighty-one.
512) James is the bigger gay than Juan though.
513) The Chicken Lord says that if it is an odd number, it dOESN't cancel out.
514) Tiny round plastic disks used in school sometimes are to be called crunkles.
515) The only gold stickers you can have must be stars - or smiley faces.
516) The only shapes a smiley face can be in are stars, squares, horizontal rectangles, or triangles of any kind.
517) Crunkles are now an official Chicken Lordian currency that may only be exchanged for bread.
518) Pretending to swallow a crunkle is a criminal offense.
519) Shooting a basketball at the same time as someone else, causing their shot not to make it into the hoop, is the worst thing you can do to a person. Just the worst.
520) Cats are magic worms confirmed.
521) According to the reliable source himself, Juan, if you cough, you have ghosts in your blood.
522) The male ghost busters are the only thing that have ever been a thing and that's the end of it.
523) The Chicken Lord doesn’t endorse shirtism or judging a shirt for the color of its cloth, and not the quality of its making.
524) Juan has been the official Jaw Taker Carer of Drakey McDrake for several years now. Any loss of lower jaw Drakey McDrake experiences is solely Juan's fault.
525) Also, Drakey McDrake is the Chicken Lord's buddy old pal.
526) The Jaw Taker Carer of Drakey McDrake is said to be an infidel sent by the Rat Lord to steal his lower jaw away.
527) It's only weird if Michael makes it weird.
528) Teachers aren't allowed to have butts.
529) Let it be known that Steven Crowder is the Chicken Lord's nephew.
530) Let it be known that Ben Shapiro is the Chicken Lord's son, and that Milo Yiannopolous is the Chicken Lord's disappointing son.
531) Different time zones are henceforth abolished because they're stupid and dumb and the rest of the world will just have to get used to getting up while its still dark and going to bed way later.
532) Laziness leads to heathenry, kiddos.
533) :V is to be known as the t h i c c chicken face, t h i c cken if you will.
534) Saying logs when not in the context of cylinders of wood is simply heathenry.
535) I don't have to make amendments unless I want to
536) You are allowed to say frogs, pogs, clogs, and maybe if you’re feeling spicy, troggs.
537) To Tracer is now a verb.
538) The transitive property applies to everything. Liz. Liz.

539) As a reward for making Liz un-Kiley-like, the Head of Rurch gets to ascend to the heavens, as her one mission in life is complete.
540) As reward for being so persuaded by the Head of Rurch’s ways, Liz gets to be her squire when she also ascends to the heavens after attempting to cross the street in vain because she was on the wrong side.
541) Let it be known that Tyler, the official Chief of Unusual Punishment, has been targeted by the Gaydar 17 times.
542) Chief of Unusual Punishment Tyler wishes it to be known that his official title is Dragnock the Destroyer, Attorney at Law, Archduke of Mars, Bastard Son of Loki, Eater of Lemons, and Killer of Orphans. However, the Grand Chicken Lordian Council is allowed to call him DDALADMBSLELKO, or for shorter, the prince of Nigeria.
543) In the great Chalk War, ‘twas Katie who won, not Tyler.
544) Every time Katie knocks the basketball out of Kat's possession simply by bouncing another basketball at her ball, Kat's title is to be changed to "Low Memestess" for an hour per dispossession.
545) Every time Katie and Tyler (the tree giraffe, Zimbabwe, not the attorney at law) goof off in PE, Zoe is not allowed to say, "Wow the two coolest gingers messing around. That's what I call foreplay," or any variant of it because she says things like this all class long and it's too much.
546) Zoe is also banned from the side lunge. She knows what she did.
547) Tree Dad is an acceptable nickname for Tyler (from PE).
548) Bubba the Cat is the Chicken Lord's mistress.
549) When you tickle someone and they laugh, you must stop, for it is a sign of pain and misery, not joy. You filthy, disgusting, heathenous swine.
550) Whenever Juan says something in the weirdest way possible, whether for reactions or not, someone is allowed to smack him with a newspaper. I don't know who. But someone.
551) Every time Juan uses someone’s face against them, one of his sons is thrown into the sea.
552) Bratwurst is the best word.
553) The Head of Rurch has now earned the title, God of Giraffes. If James does not pay giraffe tribute to the giraffe god on the eighth of April, the Pox of Many Giraffes shall be placed upon his home. They shall sleep in his bed, forcing him outside. They shall eat his cereal, and other foods, but mostly cereal. He must then eat the leaves from the trees, but the giraffes will not help him.
554) Leena is bae.
555) Tyler's (Zimbabwe's) dances are the dances of the gods, and should you not approve of said dances then you are a heathen and shall be sent to Mongolia to think over your life choices. None shall insult the inherent charm in all awkward dances white people do.
556) There is a special place in the Chicken Lord's domain for people who say, "folks." They're nothing but beacons of light and hope in the dreary muck.
557) If I respond and you say E, it'll be the end of you, Juan.
558) E
559) respect
560) "In the moment you wouldn't notice, you really gotta get in there and check" - sar, boob inspector extraordinaire
561) Also from sar, boob inspector extraordinaire, "If it don’t bounce its fake."
562) Blame Kat (sponsored by Kat Haddad).
563) Every time Zoe calls me hot or asks me to be her wife, the Chicken Lord will burn an orphan.
564) The 26th of February shall henceforth be known as the day Liz tripped over the bench and thought I didn’t see.
567) The 27th of February shall be known as Shady Shelby Day.
566) Kat has an anime profile, therefore nullifying her opinion.
569) It was obvious Katie saw that I tripped over the bench and the fact that she thinks I thought she didn't see is silly.
569 addendum) She looked over her shoulder embarrassed to see if we saw, and it was gr8

568) Dying from lung cancer is the opposite of cool.
887) Ms. Ngo’s desk corners are banned and must be covered in foam at least 3 inches thick.
570) Juan’s friend shall be referred to as “Juanito”, “Juan Two” (Juan 2 is also acceptable), “Juan Junior”, “Juan the Second”, or simply “Baby Juan”.
571) Every time Kat makes a good meme format, she gets 12 more amors.
572) Kat must always give Katie credit even when she doesn’t remember anything about how this amendment got made.
573) Ishan is my hero, carrying us in basketball and taking the molestation for the team.
574) Kat and Shelby now must answer to Nick for their heathenous actions in PE, cheating through the exercise with the rest of the class, making the poor Head of Rurch the last one because she was the only one who actually did it.
575) The highest honor in Chicken Lordianity is to get the What a Lad Award for feats of bravery recognized by the Head of Rurch. The holders of this award shall be remembered throughout the ages here: Juan, Ishan.
576) Lemons are for shmelons. Liz is a shmelon.
577) As you progress past the basics of Girl Scouts, you make it to the next level which is in a whole other dimension. Your eyebrows will be fourth dimensional so you can’t see them. They have been sent into the future or the past which is why some people have bushy eyebrows. They have been met by the Girl Scout eyebrows of Christmas Past.
578) "Seduce her so I don't get attacked." - Katie
579) Noora will be officially allowed to play badminton as long as she has possession of the Badminton Permit signed by the Permit Denier/Allower, James.
580) Juan is an old man - signed 800 years ago
581) Kat may not molest Katie even though she’s too good at interrupting her frisbee catching attempts.
582) There is no possible way to undermine or get around Amendment 385.
583) Whenever Katie beats Kat to making an amendment, she gets a round of applause from each of Sar’s children.
584) Katie already gets finger wags of shame for existing.
585) James is now the "biggerest" meanie of the server.
586) Tyrande has black eyes because she said, "Elune, give me your dick."
587) Here is a list of words that James can not pronounce correctly, and therefore, you should shame him for doing so: Tyrande, Maiev, Scholomance, Saurfang, Vol'dun, Boralus, Hatherford, gnoll, Arathi, Feralas, Diablo, scourge, Tarenar, Nagrand, Sporeloks, strawberry, Acherus, Shattrath, Kel'Thuzad, magistrix, Un'Goro, Azjol-Nerub, ...
588) Anyone who doesn't store costume wands of nerubians for the Head of Rurch is just a big meanie ;-;
589) Whenever Kat suggests that anything could allow for Sar to take over as Head of Rurch, she shall be proclaimed the Lowest Memestess for three days.
590) “These knuckles are fucken smooth,” -Noora
591) Writing past the red line of the other page is a sin and you will grow more hair on the back of your hands and go blind.
592) Noora is surprisingly unlustful for a teen yet is the only one who masturbates in the world.
593) The lower you are on the lust scale, the more room you have in your mind to think about scary things and world domination.
594) Every time James doesn't respond after JUST RESPONDING A SECOND AGO, he loses one amor. If he loses enough amors to lose Juan as an amor, then he has to pay child support to Juan to feed all his bulba-sar children their bread.
595) Colin Ro’s legal name is Cologne bRo.
596) Colin is to be blamed for losing any Kahoot.
597) Noora is the self-proclaimed captor of the soda god.

598) Creating your own meme will earn you a suitable land, title, and wife (regardless; don’t complain).
599) The proctors have no authority over the students once the SAT is over. Students also may ditch their next class and take part in regular Chicken Lordian activities such as playing hopscotch, petting a chicken, or playing hopscotch with a chicken, or even playing hopscotch while petting a chicken. If you feel like it, you can even play hopscotch with a chicken while petting a chicken. Or multiple chickens. Be a star citizen.
600) When the Head of Rurch does the grandpa dance while humming the Ghostbusters theme, let it be known that Kat’s inner monologue of PE is being portrayed.
601) Juan is an unoriginal fucking whore that we all love. -Kat
603) Head of Rurch can solo anyone as D.va in hots.
604) Saying, "He stopped to molest me," is not only accurate, but completely normal to say about Kael'thas.
605) The Chicken Lord's champion is nothing that Juan says.
606) Slathered is a sinful word, especially when Juan says it (that makes it double sinful).
607) Chelsea is banned from throwing a frisbee because the bruises on my shins and brow ridge won't go away.
608) Anyone who is bad at frisbee will be made to only throw a frisbee to others who are bad at it as well, to be subject to the same torment they inflict until which point as they are deemed "not so terrible anymore".
609) All the weird, random, types of pig meat infomercials used as ads on YouTube shall now be replaced with a compilation consisting solely of every different time Ben Shapiro has called someone debris.
610) "Juan the reason im nopeing at you is because youre a minority"- Head of Rurch.
612) Oppression points have no value in the Chicken Lordian empire because you are all peasants and fiends. But we all appreciate what a quadruple minority Juan is because he's ~special <333.
613) “There’s so much going on here.” - Liz of the artist renditions
614) If you believe in cheese graters, you must own a flag saying so.
615) It has been declared by Tyler the Tree that raping grapes is not in the Constitution.
616) In the event that your meme is to be reacted to by the High Memestess, it means she has already seen your meme and doesn’t approve.
617) If school exists at all and the Head of Rurch approves, you are allowed to leave it and go home for the given amount of time she allows.
618) The opposite of a lad is a bad. In the case that Juan acts up, his name will be corrected as found appropriate.
619) Any picture of Head of Rurch's Dad that she provides must be sacrificed to Yogg-Saron.
620) Colleges are banned from having this many windows; it’s stressful as all shit.
621) Emoticon battles are lost the moment one stops putting them for five minutes or if they put an emoji instead.
623) You are only allowed to use Starsurge while in chicken form.
624) The Zandalari (plural Zeese) balance form is the representation of the Chicken Lord's own children.
625) Feralas is pronounced with the accent on the second to last syllable, because yeah.
626) The currencies of HotS are triangles, hexagons, and round bois.
627) The What a Bad Award is given to Jonathan.
628) Juan is generally known for his cawing.